Family Values

I’m not a lesbian, but I’m often mistaken as one.

I’ve been a friend of the lesbian, gay, bi, trans, two spirit, gender non-nonforming and queer community for what seems to be a lifetime. They’re my people. When I reflect on my childhood, I can honestly say that I was never socialized to fear people in same-sex relationships. Unfortunately, some straight people are uncomfortable with this. My acceptance challenges their heteronormative ideology. In short: I’m behaving badly. Wanting me to discriminate against those who challenge an oppressive system is a great contradiction.

I’ve been a volunteer with the Audre Lorde Project for almost a year now, and I’ve supported other GLBT organizations in the past. These spaces allow me to interrogate patriarchy and identity. Ironically, as these discussions transpire, many gays and lesbians think that I’m family (term for gay). More contradictions, but these environments are safe to problematize them.

Judith Butler’s Undoing Gender has been a good resource on these issues. It may challenge some on what they value most. And it is that uneasiness that may be the crux of what really isn’t believed.

Art & the Imitation of Life

While watching the documentary, A Century of Black Cinema, I began thinking about why I became interested in wanting to create shows for children. I was working on my master’s degree at the time (2003) and hoping to do my practicum with PBS. My focus, at that time, was on producing counter-narratives to what exists in mainstream media.

PBS’s programming consisted of long-running programs–Sesame Street, Reading Rainbow, and Mr. Roger’s Neighborhood–and a few new spots like Arthur and Dragon Tales. Diversity existed on these shows, but there were no Black children as central characters. And that’s the void I wanted to fill. Of course, there is a choice of palpable, central Black characters, living and animated, on Nick Jr., Noggin, or the Disney Channel.

But time has changed a bit for me. I’m more concerned with the representation of adult characters. With or without cable, or even a TV, Blacks are invisible. If there is a presence, it embeds various stereotypes. Mammy, Jezebel, Sapphire, Coon, Buffoon. The bounty runeth over. Many producers, regardless of ethnicity, have various ways of explaining their irresponsibility away. Some are a little more careful about including a message. Hollywood Shuffle satirizes what Black actors endure to secure work in film.

We laugh, but it doesn’t remove the truth about our images (and lives) spiraling out of control. It seems as though we accept how we were socially constructed. In Popular Art and Racism: Embedding Racial Stereotypes in the American Mindset–Jim Crow and Popular Culture, author and professor, Ronald L. F. Davis, Ph. D. writes about how the idea of Blacks historically shaped popular culture. This has been lucrative for whites, and, sadly, we have picked up the torch and passed it along into today.

There is power in saying no, yet we refuse to. As I venture into producing new projects, I am refusing to embed the stereotype. And as I do so, I hope to gain a better understanding about the many reasons children’s programming seems to be more progressive than the ones for adults.

Tipping the Scale of Love

I was privy to a conversation recently where it was believed that love, trust and commitment were not at the same level in a non-marital relationships as in marriages. It was also believed that to cheat on a partner was naughty rather than tragic if it were a husband or wife. It was later discussed that this was grounded in the idea that marriages are witnessed by God, family and the state. I understand that this is an idea that a person is doomed to moral, social and financial hell if the married relationship dissolves. Believe it or not the same is true for non-marital relationships. (I’m not going to get into common law marriages, etc. because it distracts from the topic at hand.)

To paraphrase Judith Butler’s Undoing Gender a great deal, God, family and the state create the ideologies of recognition, and it is that recognition that gives our existence weight. In other words, we live in a society that marginalizes non-marital relationships. Think back to the people in your social circles who give you the pity face when they find out that you are not headed down the aisle. This type of thinking is deeply ingrained in our everyday lives.

I’ve heard this argument before by my dad, who just turned 61. He married the woman who is his second wife because he didn’t think they would be together today if he hadn’t tied the knot. But this isn’t limited to older generations. The man who started this discussion is a 70’s baby (Gen X/Hip Hop Generation, if you will) with children of his own. And this isn’t limited to men; women believe it too. In this vein, marriage elevates one’s status in the eyes of society.

Love is an emotion and action, not a competition for recognition. Creating levels of love, trust and commitment means that we are putting limits on our capacity to be in healthy relationships. Where’s the love in that?

Colorblindess in Living Color

My ‘little black book’ reads like the registration at the United Nations. Growing up on a very diverse military base (rare) in central Texas and having parents who dated outside the color line made my life boundless. Seeing couples from different backgrounds (and their kids) is very much the norm for me. I’ve noticed that television has been making an attempt to show the same diversity, but I question it on many levels.

First, I question why it’s usually the mixed couples who seem to be the happiest. They have problems, but it’s usually connected to some external factor like car pooling, dinner reservations, or something just as trivial. Although we have made many strides since desegregation, we are not in a post-racial society. (Obama is the exception not the rule.) I’ve heard people question the relevance of mixed coupling wondering what the two have in common. This is rarely addressed in TV or film. To do so would add depth to the characters and storyline.

Second, where are the happy and healthy relationships with people from the same ethnic background? I was quite surprised that network television embarked on a relationship between two Chinese-American characters on Cashmere Mafia. Lucy Liu’s high-achieving and no-nonsense character was paired with Jack Yang’s, but not without any turmoil. The writers seemed to pencil in every possible conflict for the two to not have a good relationship. Ironically, unlike many shows, the storyline did include the problems that arise from their family’s expectations in a cultural context. The possibilities of watching this unfold further ended with their breakup.

White couples and Black and Latino couples tend to fall into stereotyped relationships. The latter struggle to make ends meet while the former struggle with the comfort of their middle class lives. Insert laugh track where applicable.

The media deals with race indirectly. They claim colorblindness hoping to erase all that we know about race relations. It’s a failed attempt at the suspension of disbelief. I don’t expect anything more from the droves of writers, producers, directors, and studio heads who pander to racist expectations. Do I want more? Damn straight! I’d rather see storylines that address what we see along with the history that’s behind it. It can be funny, dramatic or campy. We not only have to demand it, we need do it ourselves. The networks aren’t our only recourse.

Theoretically Speaking

I had lunch with a Dr. Ladson-Billings a few years ago and she told me that she was surprised that I liked theory. I’m taken aback at times when I find out that people (scholars) try to avoid theory. They tense up at the very sound of the word. Anyway, in my world theory makes the world go round.

Theory & Method in American Studies includes everything from Marxism to Post-colonial theory. More Marxism here.

Black American Feminisms: A Multidisciplinary Bibliography is an extensive bibliography of black American Feminist thought from across the disciplines

The basics/classics in Queer Theory, and much more exhaustive here.

And my new favorite, Stanford Encyclopedia of Philosophy