I’m not a lesbian, but I’m often mistaken as one.
I’ve been a friend of the lesbian, gay, bi, trans, two spirit, gender non-nonforming and queer community for what seems to be a lifetime. They’re my people. When I reflect on my childhood, I can honestly say that I was never socialized to fear people in same-sex relationships. Unfortunately, some straight people are uncomfortable with this. My acceptance challenges their heteronormative ideology. In short: I’m behaving badly. Wanting me to discriminate against those who challenge an oppressive system is a great contradiction.
I’ve been a volunteer with the Audre Lorde Project for almost a year now, and I’ve supported other GLBT organizations in the past. These spaces allow me to interrogate patriarchy and identity. Ironically, as these discussions transpire, many gays and lesbians think that I’m family (term for gay). More contradictions, but these environments are safe to problematize them.
Judith Butler’s Undoing Gender has been a good resource on these issues. It may challenge some on what they value most. And it is that uneasiness that may be the crux of what really isn’t believed.

